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Physics News Headlines for April 1, 2010

Some surprising science headlines hit the newsstands today, including this one from the LHC:

End of World Postponed until Monday

A lead physicist at the Large Hadron Collider has postponed scheduled production of Earth-eating black holes until Monday, April 5 because he has a hot date Friday night...


Other news stories:
Secretary of Energy Steven Chu clarifies in interview: "That's 'Steven' with a v and 'Chu' with a u and bureaucracy with a crazy set of rigid rules and complex regulations." During the interview Secretary Chu awkwardly sprouted a third hand.

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Newly discovered journal entry by Thomas Edison reveals: "... And I would have gotten away with direct current too if it weren't for that meddling Tesla!"

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Physicists reveal the very latest in automatic apple peeling technology.

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Physicist confesses: "The hard part about being in a 1968 physics lab is that I can't cut my hair. How would it look 30 years from now if we didn't ALL have long hair?"

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Schrodinger's Cat experiment reveals cute puppies upon observation.

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Physics Graduate Student Tells 10 Year Girl What's What.

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Area dog discovers rare cosmic ray event at center of distant galaxy. Eats data.

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Disney tightens security on its image copyright protection. And they ain't messing around!

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Area teacher rigorously answers 5th grade student's arithmetic question.
or
Anthropologists transcribe "Walk Like an Egyptian" into basic algebra.



Thanks all of you who posted suggestions. We loved them all! We also had just a few responses over at the facebook page. Ya'll are a humble bunch, apparently, as most of you left your comments as "Anonymous." We are friends here! Speak thy name! Some of you also have hilarious word choices that, sadly, we try to avoid here on the Buzz. You know, for the kids.

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